The Dreaded Day (April Fool's Day in Narnia)
by rothfyae
Summary: It's the first year of the Royal Siblings' reign, and King Edmund is bored by the very muddy and damp end of winter. Which is when he realizes that it's the end of March, and that the next day is April Fool's Day...


From the History Vaults of Cair Paravel

_The Dreaded Day or King Edmund Introduces April Fool's Day to Narnia_

_As taken into account by Royal Librarian Mr. Tumnus_

_As restored by New Narnia's Royal Librarians Trufflehunter and Doctor Cornelius_

They say that March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb, but those who say so have quite the wrong idea. This particular year, which was the first year of the Royal Sibling's reign, was a great example of when March comes in like a herd of centaurs and goes out like a herd of centaurs just after the annual tournament of stallions, as King Edmund the Just so elegantly put it. (Saying this earned him a nudge from his royal brother High King Peter and a hissed, "Ed!" from Queen Susan)

It came about that it was the last day in March, and it seemed to be going out drearier and muddier than it had been when came in. Now, this sort of weather made King Edmund quite restless, as it was the sort of weather that didn't allow you to do anything but mud-wallow outdoors, and keeping King Edmund cooped up inside a castle that he constantly got lost in was a terrible mistake. And so it was on this fine day that he recalled that it was indeed the last day in March, and that the next day was the first day in April. The thought of this made him quite giddy, and soon he was prancing through the halls, searching for his royal siblings.

"Oi! Peter! Are you in there?" he asked in a most unkingly manner.

"Indeed I am, my royal brother," King Peter said, putting emphasis on the way he spoke.

King Edmund noticed this, and he changed his manner of speaking accordingly. "My dear brother, it is my pleasure to announce to you that it is the last day of March."

There were several groans from the King's chambers. "Ed, really, we don't know if it's a Narnian tradition," Queen Susan said.

"We can make it one. After all, we are the monarchs," he pointed out. "We can declare it a national holiday!"

"Really? Oh, Peter, can we?" Queen Lucy asked, throwing the door open and dragging her brother out.

"My dear sister, you know my feelings on this particular holiday," King Peter said hesitantly.

"Or more accurately, we know King Edmund's feelings on this particular holiday," Queen Susan remarked.

"Yes, but that's half the fun of it!" Queen Lucy said, now brimming with excitement.

"I don't think the centaurs would appreciate glitter in their tails," King Peter pointed out.

"Golly, thanks, Pete! That's an idea!"

"Good job, Peter, now he'll do it no matter what!" Queen Susan exclaimed.

"Well then, we'd best join in if we want to avoid a similar fate," Queen Lucy said insistently.

"Exactly my point, dear sister of mine," King Edmund said, grinning broadly at his two older siblings.

King Peter sighed in defeat. "Very well, Ed, we'll do it."

"But you take all the blame for it!" Queen Susan commanded.

"Of course, my royal sister," King Edmund said, bowing lower than necessary. "Now here's the plan."

And he and his royal siblings disappeared into the High King's chambers.

That night, King Peter crept around the walls, his arms full of springs, cogs, and wires. Queen Susan slipped into the kitchen, concealing an assortment of dyes, perfumes, salts, sugars, and other seemingly normal ingredients. King Edmund snuck into the guards quarters, a sack filled with glitter, glue, freshly heated curlers (to this day, no one knows how he managed it), bows, beads, and scissors. Queen Lucy went out into the royal stables, hiding paints, paper, pencils, erasers, buttons, and every other miscellaneous object she could find.

At midnight, they all met in the throne room, where they pooled the leftover materials so that they could do over that room as well as the dining hall. And when they were satisfied with their handiwork, they bid each other a good night and went their own separate ways to their chambers.

The next morning, on April first, King Edmund woke to the sun shining in his eyes for the first time in weeks.

"Never thought I'd be so glad to have Lucy's Eastern Essence and Susan's Southern Sun wake me," he muttered, rubbing his eyes blearily.

He dressed and stumbled out of his room, still half asleep. He found King Peter too had risen and was trudging wearily to the dining hall. Queen Lucy danced out of her room.

"Oh, Peter, Edmund, the East is cleared!" she exclaimed happily.

"Yes, I thought I'd never see my sun until the summer!" Queen Susan agreed.

"In truth, I think I've never been so glad to be woken up," King Peter said, nodding.

"Watch where you tread," King Edmund warned.

"Oh, yes," Queen Lucy said, remembering, "let's go see what the other's reactions are!"

The great hall was in disarray. Centaurs were indignantly stomping and trying to remove glitter and ribbons from their tails. Fauns were trying to unstick their furry legs, which seemed to have been glued together. The Beavers and Squirrels were desperately trying to keep their strangely curled hair from sticking up too much.

The doors burst open and water dropped onto the unfortunate enterers. A herd of bedraggled Talking Horses walked in, hanging their heads in shame. Ribbons and paint adorned their manes and tails while colored paper was pasted onto their coats. Now soggy, the paper was sliding off their patchy bodies.

"We've been attacked!" Oreius exclaimed, galloping in. "The castle walls are in chaos. There are strange boxes that release maniacal faces when one walks by them. Multi-colored balls shoot out and hit passersby. Wires that trip pedestrians line the walls and gates!"

"What on earth did you do up there, Pete?" King Edmund whispered.

"What he said."

"Breakfast is served!" a voice called from the dining hall.

"Let's go see our royal sister's handiwork, shall we?" King Edmund asked his royal siblings quietly.

When the food was served, there were many gasps and cries of protest. All the food was green. Oh, there were various shades of green, but all was green, nonetheless. And it smelled- well, they weren't bad smells, but they were smells inappropriate for the place and setting. Lavender perfumes flowed from the eggs. The sharp scent of nutmeg wafted from the bacon. The sickly sweet smell of dandelion sap oozed from the syrups. Citrus drifted from the pancakes.

"Wow, Su," King Edmund whispered.

"You thought the Gentle wouldn't have the nerve to do it, didn't you, my senseless royal sibling?" Queen Susan asked.

"I shall never again underestimate you," he assured her.

"What is this atrocity?" Oreius asked, outraged and confused.

"This, my dear centaur, is called April Fool's Day," King Edmund said, slapping his arm around his waist. (This may seem odd, but remember, centaurs stand far taller than humans, as they have horse's bodies and human tops. They stand much taller than humans, so when brother fauns meet each other, they might sling their arms around their shoulders, a human would sling his arm around the area where horse and human meets)

"You are behind all of this?" Mr. Tumnus asked, hopping over to them as he tried in vain to unstick his furry legs.

"It is tradition in the country of Spare Oom to play tricks on one another on the first of April," King Edmund explained. "In the city of War Drobe, we, or at least, I," he corrected, noticing the looks he was getting from his royal siblings, "take the first of April very seriously."

"I see," Oreius said, eyeing the King. "So you all had a hand in this?"

"Yes," King Edmund said.

"I see this also. Help us sort out the food and unstick and undecorated each other, and next year, on the first of April, perhaps you'll receive some mercy."

"Was that a threat, my good centaur?" asked King Peter.

"Only to the Just, your Majesty. After all, as the Just he must see the justice we will be doing him!" Oreius said in a strangely gleeful manner, which was odd for normally stoic centaur.

"Uh oh, Ed," Queen Lucy said playfully.

And the next year, King Edmund found his quarters properly booby-trapped.

And the following year, the centaurs received a powerful retaliation from an indignant King.

And the following year, King Edmund was glued to his bed.

And the following year, it looked as if a tornado had blown through the fauns' quarters.

Finally, King Peter, Queen Susan, and Queen Lucy negotiated a peace treaty between the two parties, forcing each to agree to a limit the pranks one could perform.

And so the dreaded day became known as it is known in Spare Oom: April Fool's Day.


End file.
